Kaže učiteljica đacima u Černobilju :
- Ko zna tačan odgovor , neka klimne levom glavom .
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Kaže učiteljica đacima u Černobilju :
- Ko zna tačan odgovor , neka klimne levom glavom .
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Ulazi jednoruki čovek u butik i pita:
-Izvinite, je li ovo “second hand shop”?
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Haški zatvorenik – najviši čin u srpskoj vojsci.
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Sin: Mama , tata je pokvaren!
Mama: Ćuti sine i jedi. Nemamo ništa drugo!
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Skidaju se lik i riba. Lik pita:
• A koliko ti imaš godina?
• Trinaest.
• Trinaest?! Ma m'rš napolje!
• Ijao, ijao, što smo sujeverni
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
:raz_114:
Otišli Ciga i Ciganka da se razvedu… kada su sve završili kaže im sudija:
- Eto ljudi, više niste ništa…
Odgovara Ciga na to:
- Pa kako druže sudija nismo ništa? Valjda smo i dalje brat i sestra?!
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Hodaju dva lovca šumom. Jedan se sruši na zemlju i ne miče se. ćini se da ne diše. Drugi lovac panično naziva Hitnu: “Upomoć, pomozite, moj prijatelj je mrtav. što da radim?!” Oprerater ga smiruje. “Polako, bez panike. Pomoći ću vam. Prvo, hajmo biti sigurni da je on zaista mrtav.” Nastade tišina, a trenutak kasnije začuje se pucanj. Lovac je ponovno na liniji. “Ok, šta dalje?”
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Ulazi retardirana devojcica u pekaru i pita:
"Jel imate kroasanu?"
A prodavacica ce:
"Kakvu, imamo sa euro kremom, mermeladom, makom ... "
A devojcica ce:
"Ma svejedno, ionako ce da mi ispadne"
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
pitaju cigu: Sta ces biti kad porastes...
A ciga kaze: pa bicu zenu, decu.
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Što se Hitler ubio?
Stigao mu račun za plin
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Mujo uci svog sina Mujića da pliva. Baci on njega u rijeku Drinu i vice:
- "Plivaj Mujiću, plivaj Mujicu, masi rukama, masi noga, AMA MASI TIM RUKAMA........ e jebi ga."
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Razgovaraju brat i sestra:
SESTRA:
- "Meni mama i tata vishe vole, vidi koliko barbika su mi kupili, a tebi samo jedan jojo!!!"
BRAT:
- "Neko ima jojo, neko ima leukemiju
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Pipao slijepac turpiju nekih pet minuta, a onda je, sav bijesan, bacio i rekao:
- "U zivotu nista gluplje nisam procitao!".
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Govori otac svom sinu (sin je inace mongoloidan):
- "Idi u prodavnicu, donesi mi pivo"
- "Necuuuu".
- "Idi, moras me poslusat, ja sam ti otac"
- "Necu, necuuu, necuuuu...."
- "Idi, moras me slusat, ja sam te napravio"
- "E, jesi me i napravio....."
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Vratio se Mujo iz Afrike sa safarija i pita ga Haso:
"Šta si sve ubio tamo?" A Mujo će:
- "Ubio sam tri lava, dva leoparda, jednog slona i deset nopliza."
- "Bolan Mujo šta ti je to nopliz," pita ga Haso.
- "Pa to ti je malo crno i viče: No pliz, no pliz."
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Dogodila se velika prometna nesreća. Žena stoji snuždeno pored potpuno uništenih automobila, poderana, izgrebana, raščupana, krvava... Policajac je prekorava:
- Što se niste vezali pojasom, nego ste izletjeli kroz staklo!? Pogledajte supruga u autu, svezan, izgleda ko živ!
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
:raz_114:
Srusio se autobus pun djece u provaliju.
Zabrinuti roditelj zove ekipu na mjestu nesrece
- Jao, molim vas, recite mi da li ste pronasli moje djete?
- Pa, jesmo gospodjo.
- Pa recite mi vijesti, kako je?
- Pa znate, vas sin nema nijednu nogu.
- Jao, kuku meni.
- Znate, vas sin nema nijednu ruku.
- O, zivote, pa sta ima ?!
- Pa evo nema nista, tovarimo ovu djecu i tako to...
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
plotarius transpareticus
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