Došao Edip u crnačku četvrt i crnac ga upita:
- "What`s up, mother fucker?"
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Došao Edip u crnačku četvrt i crnac ga upita:
- "What`s up, mother fucker?"
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Pitali Muju:
- "Mujo šta slušaš od muzike?"
- "Ma slušam sve živo i Tošeta."
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
U razredu debila postavlja uciteljica pitanje Hami:
- "Hamo kolko je 2+2 ?"
Hamo razmislja jedno 27 minuta zatim uzbudeno pogleda profesoricu i kaze:
- "Cetiri."
Tada citav razred poce da pljeska i povikuje:
- "Hamo Kompijuteru, Hamo Kompjuteru
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Pita Tadic Mariju Serifovic :
- "Zasto si glasala za radikale?"
- "Pa, platili mi."
- "A sto smo ti mi sredili da neides u vojsku to nista jel?"
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Mama, vrata od lifta su otvorenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Dobrovoljac se vraca iz rata gde je izgubio
jednu ruku.Sav ocajan resio je da se ubije,
uze konopac i ode do drveta da se obesi.
U tom momentu nailazi drugi dobrovoljac
koji je izgubio obadve ruke i dok ide
igra lambadu; on upita ovog koji se besio:
"Jeli covece,zasto ti hoces da se besis ?!"
Na to mu ovaj odgovori :"Kako cu da zivim
bez jedne ruke,ocajan sam.A ti,nemas obe
ruke,a igras lambadu?"
"E prijatelju,da ti nemas obe ruke,a svrbi
te dupe-igrao bi i ti lambadu
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Kupa tata dijete, drži ga za uši i vuče kroz vodu.
Ulazi majka i vata se za glavu "Jaoj majko, šta mi radiš sa djeteta?!"
Otac: "Pa probaj ti drugačije kad je voda vrela
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Mali Ivica mami:
- Mama, evo ubio sam baku!!
Mama Ivici:
- O budalo, pa imamo još pola dede u frižideru
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
plotarius transpareticus
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Večnost je čista sadašnjost.
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Zapalila se kuca, vatrogasci izvlace zenu, ona vice :
- Dete mi je u dnevnoj sobi, izvucite njega !
- Nista ne brinite - kaze jedan vatrogasac i uskoci u kucu. Posle pola minuta izlazi noseci televizor, zena izbezumljena pocne da vice jos glasnije na njega :
- Jel si normalan, zajebi stvari, izgorece mi dete ...
- Nece gospodjo, dvaput sam ga okrenuo
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Kako se zove Hitlerova doktorska disertacija?
-Uticaj Jevreja na zagrevanje Berlina.
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Zasto su devojke u invalidskim kolicima zgodnije od ostalih cura ??
- Zato sto su uvek doterane
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
ulazi mucavac u radnju kucnih ljubimaca
- Kooolikoo koostaa ovaaj paaapaagaaj??-
50 eura - Odgovara prodavac
- Skuuupooo , preeevisee skuuupoo...
A papagaj ce na to..- Sta skupo ***** ti materina , pa pricam bolje nego ti ...
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Pita sin oca:
-Tata, tata, sta je to abortus?
- Sine, idi pitaj sestru!
- Ali ja nemam sestru...
- Eeeeee...
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Umrli peder, alkos i pušač, i dođu pred boga, a on im kaže:
-Slušajte momci, niste pravili nikakva sranja u životu, tako da ste za raj. A meni u raju jako velika gužva, tako da sam odlučio da vas vratim na zemlju. Ali! Onaj koji još jednom padne u iskušenje da se preda svom poroku, ide u pakao momentalno.
I tako se oni vrate na zemlju, na sred neke ulice, i krenu sva trojica, pa naiđu na flašu piva, skoro praznu, ostao samo gutljaj. Gleda alkos, oblizuje se, misli u sebi "Ma sam je bog rekao da je gužva gore, haos, neće ni skontati da sam uzeo gutljaj piva..". Podigne flašu i iskapi je, i istog trenutka padne mrtav. Vide to peder i pušač, pa krenu dalje i naiđu na opušak, još se dimi, ima jedan dim još da se povuče. Gleda pušač, oblizuje se, a peder ga vidi pa kaže "Matori, sagneš li se po tu cigaru, mrtvi smo.
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Pita Perica svoju babu: Bako, šta je to ljubavnik?
Baka ustane k`o oparena i vrisnu: JAO LJUBAVNIK! PA JA SAM ZABORAVILA!... i otrči baba do svoje sobe, otvori orman, i iz ormana ISPADNE KOSTUR !
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Ide Mujo ulicom, vidi pola babe i kaže: “Djes, ba”
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Re: crni humor :mrgreen:
Ide Etijopljanin i glodje kosku i sretne ga drugi Etijopljanin i kaze mu:
-daj malo.
-Ne moze
-A samo malo
-Ne dam
-Molim te
-Bezi bre
-Dobro,dobro,videces ti kad meni majka umre.
Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A better meal than me
Odg: crni humor :mrgreen:
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